Had a great time meeting up with Alan last night, along with Jim and Iver. Too bad Madeline couldn make it. Its exam time again :P

The hotpot at Happy pay was great yesterday. I think they really improved! Haven had hotpot in a while and realised I couldn really eat as much as before. Hmm... blessing in disguise? haha... less inches around the waist.... :P

I am really amazed at the amount of beer that Alan can put away... he is definitely not a big sized guy but he *almost* single handedly polished off 2 jugs of beer and 1 can of Tiger. Not a lot per se, but thats on top off ALL the food fr the buffet. Quite a feat, IMHO. :)

Following that we adjourned to his serviced apartment in plaza park royal for MORE spirits... hahaha... we really had loads of fun figuring how to prepare the absnthe cocktail. Mind you, the absinthe i got from Prague had 35mg/kg of thuyon and 70% alc. Even if the green fairy dun appear, the alc content will wipe u out. hahaha...

Briefly, a unique metal spoon was placed on top of a special glass that i got from Amsterdam. A cube of sugar was placed on top of the spoon and doused with absinthe. 2cl of absinthe was poured into the glass and the sugar was flamed to allow caramelisation. I was amazed at how easy the sugar cube flamed after dousing with neat absinthe. It was such a pretty blue flame and the flaming sugar smells so good as it caramelises...will upload the pics when alan sends them to me :) Following that, another 2cl of water was added to douse the flames and solubilise the sugar. STIR AND Enjoy... Tastes good!

Well, on average each of us had abt 3 servings and although i din see any fairies, I sure felt the effects of the alcohol. *wooo* It din help that they were watching the soccer channel... added to my sleepiness. hahaha... anyways, we really enjoyed the view of the flyer and the CBD from Alan's place. pity the camera was not able to capture the lights and sights. But on overall, a great farewell party. :)

Overcast sky peering through the window mirrors my thoughts. Many a times I have told myself that I am the cause of all the unhappiness, that I am just paying back for the hurt that I have caused to you in the not so distant past.

Everytime you shunned my attempts to make amends, to revert our relationship back to normalcy, i took it in stride. Made excuses for you, deluding myself. In hindsight, this helped me. The more I tried to make excuses for your behaviour, the nearer I reached to uncovering the truth. Every rebuff and hurt I accumulated along the journey to self preservation chipped away at whatever guilt and feelings I felt for you. I FINALLY OPENED MY EYES.

Now I know. The words you said to assure me and to assuage your own sense of guilt. Now I know, some things were there right from the start. I was just blind to them. Now I know. No amounts of excuses can explain away the uncalled for treatment, the deliberate shunning and the hurt so thoughtlessly inflicted. Now I know. With this knowledge, things have become clear. I no longer owe you anything. We are quits.

You, are always right in your decisions, in your eyes. You might be able to explain away your understanding of certain things and your behaviour, but you cannot hide from your actions. Whatever happens, happened for a reason. I have met Someone who understands me, who has shown me the way. The way to love myself for who I am. He has told me, nothing is impossible. I just have to believe. And I do. I really do. I sincerely hope that one day, you will truly open your eyes. In life, no one ever loved you like I do and gave you as much. You never cherished me while it lasted and now I have moved on.